I am sitting at home, surfing the net for anything of interest, and pondering my navel. Frankly, I am in a rut again. Work, realtionship, and my pursuit of happiness (nookie?) has me re-analyzing what the fuck I am doing with my life. Hell! I am 46 years old, and I still don't know what I want to do when I grow up.
Oh the trials and tribulation of being a Spanish Lover locked in the body and life of an Americkan White Male!
Do I sell every last possession and hit the road for a year... only to come back even more disillusioned (and broke). But wait, I am already broke and disillusioned! So why not. But then where do I go, what do I take??? AARGH!!!
Where to go?Do I keep working at my job (love the people, hate not making enuf money), buy some land up in the mountains and build my container house?
Ideas....Do I continue the status quo? What ever the fuck that is!!! do I go and bullshit my primary care doc and get a Rx for Vanax for my depression, a script for Strattera for my ADD. Oh crap don't forget the Viagra....not that I need it. Yet the avaialbility of a drug that gives me an even harder erection is something that every man (and woman) should not be with out. Sort of like a Swiss Army knife for the bedroom.
Tools for the BedroomI am in turmoil.... I need a creative outlet, an athletic outlet, and some thing that stirs my passion. Working for a high end furniture retailer has its fringe benefits, but not having money or really any direction in life makes any fringe bennies rather a mute point. How can one pursue anything if you don't have any freaking idea what you might want to pursue (other than the company of a woman)!!!!
I am just not HAPPY! I know that I need to "grab my ass and get glad", but what do I get glad about? Do you understand what I am trying to say! I am LOST. Stuck in suburbia, mundaned out of my skull, and too full of fear to change anything!
Advice and wisdom for the Masses!!!Meester Wizard!!!!!! Help! What is this boy to do?? Any suggestions?
Best regards,
Dahveed De La Mancha